


Late September Storms.

by MissGreLig



Series: Of Rain and Storms. ⛈️ [1]
Category: Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) & Related Fandoms, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissGreLig/pseuds/MissGreLig
Summary: What if Anne Shirley's looks weren't the ones we have always known?
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: Of Rain and Storms. ⛈️ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951474
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Late September Storms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I didn't know which tags I should have add here, so probably I'll retag them eventually. Besides, I might add to this story another chapter or a second part, but I'm not completely sure about it.
> 
> Once again, I kindly remind you English is not my first language, and I do this just for fun and as a day to improve my writing skills and vocabulary, so I'm so sorry if there are mistakes and errors I didn't noticed while proof-reading.
> 
> So, after this,  
> Thank you in advance and enjoy it! :)

It was 9 in the evening when Anne finally arrived home. She knew it was 9 because the clock said so, but according to the darkness caused by an impending storm in the sky it could be easily said it was midnight. She loved those very first days of storm in late September after a hot summer, when weather invites you to stay at home with a blanket, an excellent yet undiscovered book or film and, if you are lucky, in good company; but today her mood wasn’t very keen on enjoying it. Firstly, she was starving, being the only things ingested a salad at noon and a disgusting vanilla flavoured coffee from the machine installed in the corridor where her office was at five in the evening. However, the very first thing she needed was to take off her hellish (but fabulous, according to her dearest Diana) stilettos and take a shower. She needed to wash off the horrible day she had lived. So, when she closed the door and saw all the flat’s lights turned off, she called her flatmate’s name to check if he was at home, but only silence answered back. Anne knew he wasn’t at work for sure: today was his day off, and his shift started tomorrow at seven in the evening… Unless it was an emergency which required him; but he would have said something to her before leaving, just like she did when she was asked last minute to look over an article before its publishing next day…  _ Whatever _ , Anne thought;  _ I’m too tired to make a drama out of nothing _ .

While leaving her things in her room, hearing how it began to rain outside, and undressing herself to get ready for shower, she presumed he was either making a late errand, having a drink with some of his friends from work or he was just in his night session of jogging at the park in their neighbourhood. It couldn’t be the second option, as he told her when she sent him a message about her delay that he would be tonight at home (despite being a Friday night) because he didn’t feel like going out. So it left her betting for the last option, because his most frequent shops were either about to close or already closed for the day.  _ Ugh _ , she  _ “hated” _ him for being that sporty. She had joined him several times either in the morning or night, but she didn’t like his training at all (her online sessions of yoga and fitness just robbed her heart straightaway) and she didn’t like the picture of herself doing it… A chubby, petite, ginger and pale girl next to a fit but not toned up and beguiling young man with the most captivating smile running close together; the way her body moves when running was anything but appealing. 

“Anne, stop.”, she scolded herself.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror: actually, she wasn’t that bad. It was true she wasn’t thin: her belly was rounder than she would like it to be, but it wasn’t something she actually disliked. She even found a peculiar beauty on it that people just didn’t quite comprehend. Her thighs and hips and breasts were also bigger than what she would like (and compared to those of most of the girls she was friends or colleagues with), but they were in harmony with the rest of her body. She could even say she was pretty similar to those curvy models she lately have been following on her Instagram to gain a little bit of more confidence on her looks, but then she looked at her stretch marks and the freckles in her body (paying special attention to those stretch marks of her belly -framing her belly button- and breasts) and she couldn’t help the grimace expressing displeasure that drew in her face. Not to mention her hair: it was the most vibrant orange a person could think of when imagining a red-headed. She remembered one of the first conversations she had with Marilla, her adoptive mother, about her hair and how she wished that, when she got older it became darker and stronger, because she would never dye it as it was the only physical connection she was aware of with her deceased biological parents. However, that wish was sort of fulfilled: her hair wasn’t feeble anymore and the colour had partially darkened, but not enough to not resemble a carrot. At least, she could agree with people who (unashamedly) had the nerve to opine that at least she had a very beautiful face: big, almond-shaped grey-blue eyes; a pointed, button nose; and thin but agreeable lips despite the freckled pale skin of her face. She remembered that day seeking her bridesmaid’s dress for Diana's wedding and one shop assistant in a wedding dresses’ shop simply telling her she would find nothing there because of her “enormous shape” but, at least, she would save whatever disaster she found as a dress because she had got a beautiful face.

“Anne, please, stop it. Now.” She whispered this time. And she stopped for her sake. She removed the little makeup she wore that day, took her fine emerald knit pyjamas (made and gifted by Marilla and Rachel Lynde, therefore doubly loved by Anne) and took the nicest underwear she found in her nightstand before heading to the bathroom. She had had one of the crappiest days she could remember in a while and needed something to cheer her up; and the pearl white bralette and knickers in combination she had was a part of it. She was sexy too and she was going to demonstrate it to herself.

Feeling the water running down her body, Anne checked all those little things that made her day a bad one in order to make them disappear through the drain: her editor from the publishing house called early in the day while Anne was going to her office saying that her manuscript needed a fourth time revision before be ready to be published - which made Anne be upset as it was the fourth time the launch of her very first published book was postponed. Just two hours after that call, and only an hour before the interview, the chief editor’s clerk of one of the most important magazines in Canada where Anne worked announced to her that the person in charge of interviewing Miss Canada wasn’t available and Anne had to do it. If Anne was naturally pale, then her face turned a shade whiter at the same time her eyes grew wider. The clerk tried to calm her saying that questions were already written and she just had to read them and record the answers on the phone just to, later back in the office, transcript them on the laptop. But Anne wasn’t one of following what is already established and would improvise on the questions as she always did… But one thing was dealing with writers, artists and playwrights (she was in charge of the ‘Art and Literature’ section of the magazine) and another dealing with models and fashion, something she couldn't care less. Her style couldn’t be said to be old-fashioned, but undoubtedly it didn’t follow the latest trends. And today she was dressed a little bit dressed up with a green tartan blazer, a white shirt with a green bow in the neckline, smart blue jeans and those black stilettos with her red, waved hair in a perfect ponytail because she was supposed to have a meeting with her book’s editor (cancelled the very first thing in her morning). Moreover, the clerk informed Anne she needed to move to the hotel where Miss Canada was staying to do the interview… Being this on the other end of Toronto. Anne didn’t know yet how she made it, but she was there just five minutes before the stipulated time for the interview to start. 

And, just as she predicted it, the interview went badly. No doubt the woman she had on the sofa opposite her (she sat on an uncomfortable chair) was elected Miss Canada: tanned, slim and tall, perfect facial features and a beautiful long brunette hair, dressed as if she just had walked on the Fashion Week - and making Anne feel the ugliest being in the room and in a state of total nudity. Besides, Anne discovered Miss Canada wasn’t very interested in nurturing herself in culture or go out on a limb about some current issues, as every time Anne -hopefully- tried to show that the girl in front of her was more than a pretty face and body, Miss Canada only kept repeating her beauty and exercising routines, talking about makeup or how hard her job was or just went silent because she hadn’t got anything to say. Likewise, it seemed that the girl sensed Anne’s low self-esteem and her day’s mood, so she attacked Anne whenever she could ( _ “Did you know? I used to wear a pretty similar shirt to that of yours in kindergarten. It was my favourite garment at the time!” “My favourite exercise is the treadmill; any person who is a little overweight should try it.” _ ). Anne knew better and, even though she defended herself, somehow held her tongue during the hours they spent together, but she was going to subtly walk over her in the printed version of the interview.

Again, while washing her hair, Anne couldn’t help look over her life: she had been an orphan all her life after her parents died in a fire (the school they worked burnt and several people died; her parents included), thus living in the Halifax Orphanage till she was eleven. On her twelfth birthday, she was officially adopted by Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert, a pair of siblings in Avonlea, PEI, as they wanted to somehow enlarge their family. She remembered the very first years living there: scary at first and with some kind of traumas on her back, but receiving the love and acceptance of the community (as Green Gables, Matthew and Marilla’s home and now hers, had been for many years an important part of Avonlea’s economy with the products of the farm). Also, Anne experienced some body changes all of a sudden: she arrived at Green Gables literally all skin and bones, almost malnourished from all those years of poorly eating whatever they cooked at the orphanage, although her body constitution indicated she was going to be “a big girl”. Several months after the arrival (and luckily much better feed and a fatter), her period came for the first time and she became frightened because no one had ever talked to her about it and the changes it produced in the body before; thus, her thighs, hips and breasts became bigger with time and the first stretch marks appeared. Even though she was accepted, loved and cared for in town, it didn’t mean some people in school were mean at and made fun of her about her looks and origins and, despite how brave, resolute, and intelligent she has always been, her self-esteem suffered -fortunately not to the point of coming down with a mental illness. Years passed and she learnt to deal with her traumas and love her physical appearance: she was healthy both mentally and physically (she checked it at least twice a year), exercised and didn’t eat bad at all, but on the worst days those thoughts just haunted her and that Friday night was one of them.

A bit ashamed of being this ashamed of her looks, Anne remembered her call with Diana, her kindred spirit since day one in Avonlea, after finishing the interview. She just needed to vent her feelings and, after checking Diana was free too, Anne just called her. Diana reassured Anne -again- that she was beautiful both physically and mentally, being the envy of many known and unknown people; that she was one of the most important columnists and magazine writers in all Canada and was about to publish her first book, something she had been dreaming of since they were children; that if she was just that worried that day about her image and “how hideous and horrid I am”, she should remember she dated back in school and the two three first years of university with Royal Gardner (the hottest boy back in the day) and, unfortunately, David Rogers (the boy was an utter arsehole at the end, but it cannot be denied he was quite handsome and many girls envied Anne of being her girlfriend the time they were a couple); and that if she was just that insecure, just ask Gilbert Blythe for his opinion. Anne rashly ended the conversation completely crimson with Diana there (she just arrived at the office after having that salad, and then she devoted all the afternoon to that devilish transcription of the interview) and, just as she did at the moment of ending the call, she smiled at that last idea.

Gilbert and Anne’s relationship went from enemies to… something blurry between a strong friendship and more than friendship. The very first day they met, when she was thirteen, a newly-arrived-to-town Gilbert teased Anne with her hair and he was hit with her pencil case in his yawn. Because of this, they were grounded to attend detention in the afternoons during a whole week, which led Anne solemnly swear to hate Gilbert forever and ever -loathing only increasing when she discovered that they were neighbours and the Cuthberts were friends with Gilbert’s parents, so she had to see him outside school too. He tried hard after apologising for teasing her, but it all fell in deaf ears. However, he never stopped trying. They were like this for two years until one storming night similar to the one now happening outside, when Green Gables’ cattle escaped and some animals disappeared. Anne, totally desperate, went to the Blythe’s house to ask for help and she saw Gilbert, under the rain, looking after the disappeared animals. That night, all the hate vanished and became -in less than two months time- best friends. Gilbert missed the first year of Anne in Avonlea because their parents and him moved to Alberta to be closer to his older adoptive brother, Bash, as he was studying there in a very sophisticated cooking school in order to be a chef. In fact, most of the products from Green Gables ended up in Bash’s restaurant in Charlottetown, just a forty-five minutes drive from Avonlea. Bash (formally Sebastian) was originally from Trinidad, but his family died when he was a child during a flood that destroyed the country and he became orphan along with many other children. A kind of international adoption was offered and Gilbert’s parents, who seemingly couldn’t conceive, decided to adopt a child… who resulted to be Bash. When Bash was fourteenth, Gilbert’s mother became pregnant with Gilbert that very same year as Anne's mother and, after his birth, they lived as a typical family in Avonlea. 

Gilbert and Anne’s friendship for many years resembled that of one of siblings: supporting each other in their careers/relationships/choices in life, criticising each other just for the other to improve, having those fights that the next day was just forgiven and forgotten... But it all changed for a twenty-six-years-old Anne the day Gilbert told her, completely heartbroken, that he was leaving the island almost for good and heading to Toronto because he was going to be permanently hired as an oncologist in one of the city’s hospitals. The idea of losing Gilbert forever made Anne realise she was in love with him for so long she couldn’t even tell when it all started. However, she kept her feelings quiet because she wasn’t sure he reciprocated her, and being friends at least assured Anne he was still in her life. She supported him despite being miserable and kept their friendship through distance. A year after Gilbert moved to Toronto, Anne was offered a position in one of the most important magazines in Canada and had to move to Toronto too. Thus, Anne ended up living in the flat Gilbert just had bought there, paying a rent for a room and splitting the bills -being next Thursday one year and a half of Anne moving in with Gilbert. Diana was the only one to know about Anne’s infatuation with Gilbert and, despite all her efforts to make Anne see it, Diana knew Gilbert had liked and even loved her since the very first time they saw each other. For Anne this was impossible: she knew Gilbert, and she believed she knew what he preferred when dating girls, and these girls were more similar to Miss Canada (who physically reminded Anne to Christine, Gilbert’s last ex in the island -breaking up just a week later after Anne and David’s breakup) than Anne’s looks. And despite the fact Gilbert had been single the same time that Anne, it didn’t mean anything. He was young, a doctor, extremely intelligent, funny, committed to everything that mattered to him, down-to-earth, polite, agreeable, understanding… even though he could be as stubborn as Anne was and a bit smug sometimes; he could be with any girl if he wanted… Anyone but her.

Just thinking about the devil, when Anne was leaving the laundry room after putting her dirty laundry in the basket near the washing machine and going to the living room with her copy of  _ Jane Eyre _ and a blanket, Gilbert arrived home.

“Anne?”

“Here!” Anne answered from the sofa, where she could see Gilbert leaving a bag on the counter of the kitchen (it was an open space and the kitchen and living room shared the same space). “How is it you are not soaked? It’s bucketing down out there.”

_ "What a sight for sore eyes" _ Gilbert thought as Anne looked at him genuinely happy for the very first time that day and with her hair damp falling on her shoulder, to Gilbert resembling the Sun itself that dark night and warming him up from cold. “I managed to evade it as much as I could. Look what I brought!”, Gilbert said and took out a box from the bag in order to distract himself from his own thoughts.

“No way you bought sushi and it is from ' _ Xang's _ '.” Anne sat up excitedly and squealed happily after Gilbert’s affirmation; her day was about to end fairly positive after all. Gilbert’s smile grew seeing Anne: it was her favourite meal since he took her out her first night in Toronto and knew it would make her joyful.  _ My smile _ Anne liked to define it to Diana, as his mouth twisted into this gigant grin and his eyes became small and shiny. Anne, suddenly, stopped her celebration and realised something: "I can't eat that. It's not good for-"

"Forget your imposed diet today, Anne" Gilbert cut her off, putting the box in the fridge to keep sushi fresh and walking to her afterwards. "You ate nothing today- No, Anne, don’t deny it; a salad is nothing. You also can allow a cheat day and today is the day because you need to celebrate that, firstly, it's Friday and, secondly, I know you had a shitty day and I want to celebrate you surviving it with you. Last thing", Gilbert approached her, close yet not that much, but enough for the both of them feeling the heat from the other's body, "you don't need any stupid diet to follow because you are perfect as you already are".

Tension radiated from them, and both of them wished to lean in and forget about the world in each others' lips and arms. None were sure of taking the first step, but their guts told them that was the right thing to do, the right thing for them.

Yet Gilbert moved away quickly and without looking at her in the eye, blushing, and moving to the corridor leading to the bathroom, laundry room and bedrooms, Gilbert voiced: "I need to shower… I- I did run before it began to rain and I went for the sushi, so… er- you know, I don’t wanna catch a cold. Don’t move from there-! I wanna prepare everything for you! So, stay there, keep reading, and afterwards you can tell me how your day was. Alright?"

"Sure. Go, Gil". Anne softly ordered as scarlet as Gilbert was.

It didn’t take that long for Gilbert to shower, or at least it seemed to Anne. She had spent the minutes after he disappeared through the corridor trying to read, but it was futile: all she could think of was Gilbert and how he looked at her: his pupils totally dilated, turning his hazel eyes a darker shade and full of desire that Anne just wished she could see more often. God, if she had been braver, she could have kissed him; and if she was right, they could probably get to third base in just seconds. She automatically brushed her lips with her fingertips, and then hid her face in her palm.  _ I’d probably looked desperate. I know my face when I’m in a state of… lust? Well, not to such extent, but close to it. Anyway, probably that was what scared him and that’s why he moved away. But I know something was happening between us; something I wish I could say completely sure that he was feeling too- _

Her thoughts died there when Anne heard Gilbert open a cupboard and take two glasses and three dishes. He put it on the counter so that he could take some paper towels, the sushi from the fridge and bring it to the coffee table.  _ Jesusbloodychrist; this doesn’t help at all,  _ Anne thought while watching him move. His dark and curly hair was damp from the shower, and the dampness made it to be larger and darker than it was. The stubble on his face was adorning his explendid chin. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt that fit like a glove to his defined body and a pair of cotton pyjamas trousers in a tartan pattern that made him taller than he already was. From Anne’s perspective on the sofa, she could observe how strong his arms were (although she already knew it; many years going to the beach together and having seen his torso naked). However, what absolutely hypnotised Anne once again were his hands: she was sure she could paint them perfectly with her eyes closed. They were big, thin and strong, veins marked on the back of them and several little moles on them that seemed constellations. His palms were smoother than they once were, but some calluses still were there as a proud reminder where he came from: a farmer’s family who knew nothing but hard work on the land. Now she could observe too that these were again a bit rough, having spent the two first weeks of September back in Avonlea helping his father and even Matthew with the land for Autumn and Winter.  _ I wonder what it would be like to be touched with those hands… _

“I bet you could have already eaten all the sushi by yourself with your eyes. Look, even your mouth is watering.” Gilbert teased, making Anne flush again that night.

“It’s not. Do you need any help?” she tried to distract him.  _ Caught red-handed, Anne. _

“Nope. I’m good. And I told you I’d prepare everything. So stay there and tell me about your day”, he answered.

“First tell me about yours. Can you play some music in the background? I don’t mind if it’s your playlist or mine”, Anne inquired and Gilbert just put his thumb up.

Thus, while he settled the table and sat next to her on the sofa just to start eating, they told each other the day's events -for Gilbert, it was just oversleep as much as he could, do some chores at home as well as paperwork and revise some cases of patients that needed to be done. While eating, Anne told him her day and how stupid she felt because being that stupid.

“Don’t say that, Anne; at least in my pressence”, Gilbert stated after swallowing his last shrimp nigiri, “you’re not stupid for occasionally feeling down. I think the book needs this very last revision before it is launched and be the success I’m sure it’s going to be. I’m gonna sell it to my patients and you know it; between diagnoses and revisions. ‘ _ Hey, I have given you a piece of bad news; but this is my best friend’s book and I bet it’s the best entertainment during therapy _ ’” Gilbert joked and made Anne snort. “Don’t laugh; I’m dead serious… Sorry, dark humour”. To this, Anne laughed harder. They knew they should not laugh at this kind of thing, but sometimes it was impossible to not do it. “Right, before I’m hired as a scriptwriter in some adult cartoons or taken as a terrible doctor who doesn’t take serious his job to try to save people’s lives, I believe what happened with your book it’s just the same that happened to you in your officine with that article: it just needed one final read before it is completely ready. And by the way you talk about it, I see it’s tiring and frustrating all this waiting, but you know how to get things finally published are and, as you have said plenty of times,  _ ‘good things always are worth waiting’ _ ; and this is one of them. I don’t try to minimise your frustration, but I think you’re just exhausted today and it makes you see things worse than they are; but they are not. So my advice towards it is just to let it be tonight, and tomorrow you’ll probably see it under a new light. And if you need me to help you see it, just tell me.”

“You’re right… Thank you, Gilbert. For listening and providing me with such good advice” Anne said after eating the last piece of sushi from the box with a sad smile in her lips, but feeling completely good after noticing herself listened to by someone who wished her well (besides Diana, of course).

“Anytime”, Gilbert answered, but kept going “However, I’m not finished. I think that elected Miss Canada was bitching around because she felt insecure around you.” Anne was taken aback by this statement.

“I don’t think so, Gil-”

“Well, that’s my perception. Do you remember Josie Pye back in school? Before you two became friends” Anne nodded; how couldn’t she? Josie was a shrew back in the day, before Anne helped her deal with Billy Andrews, Josie’s first boyfriend who was treating her like dirt in someone’s birthday party. “Well, Josie was jealous of you because you were cleverer than her and, physically speaking, ‘ _ your tits were bigger than hers _ ’ - Billy’s words, not mine. You know Billy is a babbler and one night he was drunk he told it to Moody, Charlie and me.” Anne’s face went red (again) and hid herself behind a cushion. “Please, Anne, don't hide. I can assure you no one looked at you lewdly or weirdly back in the day. I mean, some might have done, but I promise you that for us it was not the case. We got furious when Billy said so, and we told him some ugly truths; and I think that around the time he stopped upsetting you. I mean, I don’t want to take the credit for it: I’ll never forget when you faced him during lunch time and almost made him weep. He learnt the lesson for sure.” 

Anne appeared back in the scene again, less red, but still looking unsure. Gilbert continued, “Resuming what I was saying before this wee trip to the past: I think that woman felt insecure around you: you are clever, bold, and you have this presence that fills the room with it; you are able to make the place you are in alive and bright. And I bet that woman perceived it, as well that you day wasn’t your finest one, and attacked you. That’s it. And it’s ok to feel insecure about your appearance sometimes. And, no - it doesn’t make you less feminist… I don’t try to mansplain to you anything or be one of those men who explain to you, a woman, how you must feel; I have a lot to learn about that issue and I need a bit more of study before calling myself a full ally, but I can give you my point of view if that helps you.” Gilbert sat himself on the sofa so now he was looking at Anne in the eyes. “It doesn’t make you less engaged in feminism because, knowing you, you don’t want to look like those girls out there like they were dolls out of a factory; you represent the diversity of the world. You represent real women out there who work hard to achieve their goals and dreams and are brave to look at fear in the eye, and are bright, and are professionally prepared to conquer the world and demonstrate they are something more apart from their looks. That’s the type of woman who you are, that I know and I’m proud to be friends with.” Anne became overwhelmed, tears filling her eyes and falling down her cheeks. What on earth did she do to have got a person like Gilbert Blythe in her life? Gilbert dried away with his thumb her tears, and went on. “Everybody feels bad about the way they look some days; even I do!” Anne chuckled with the way he said that last information, with a squawk slipped from his throat. “C’mon! I have been non-stop talking and I need to hydrate my throat.” Gilbert drank some water and added. “I sometimes feel insecure about the way I look. For example, last Wednesday there was this man that made all the girls at work sigh; and only because he was wearing a suit, had got a fashionable haircut and he was toned up, nothing else. But it made me later look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder if I exercised more, or did some diet, get a haircut or do whatever it was necessary to make you-ME '' Gilbert noticed the slip and covered it with a fake cough; fortunately for him Anne not noticing it. “Sorry. To do whatever it was necessary to make me feel comfortable with who I am. However, I already am happy with who I am, and I have accepted that the scar on my knee when I cut myself with a glass playing at Moody’s house it’s going to stay there; that I have a bit more hair in the chest than many of my friends; that sometimes I can be a bit pretentious, obstinate and even obnoxious but I try to not let that happen too much. I’m not here to please others but me and those who love me - and I think I already do it. So that last concept is the only thing I want you to keep from this soliloquy - Look! I do also use refined words like you!” Anne punched him playfully on his arm while smiling, he feigned pain and continued: “that you please yourself and the people who love you; and I can say that you already do it too.”

Anne couldn’t help it anymore and hugged him. She felt so lucky to have him in her life. She knew everything he just said was something he really felt and wasn’t saying it as a way to satisfy her with what she wanted to hear. For a couple of minutes, she didn’t mind that he wasn’t her beau, but he was her best friend, probably the only person on earth who fully knew, and he would make anything (even the unthinkable) to make her feel good and appreciated. For tonight it was firstly, with his encouraging words; secondly, with the little touches and caresses he made while speaking to her to make her feel comfortable once again; and thirdly, reminding those little details she just loved, like her favourite pieces of sushi, her favourite background music and even which was her favourite glass of water. And now having him in her arms and palpably sensing all the affection this man had for her was the frosting on the cake.

“Do you know which famous model you remind me of? Now we’re speaking about models” Anne shook her head, at the same time she pulled back from the embrace. “Ashley Graham. Yep; don’t become that surprised because I promise you I see her and I can’t help thinking of you. I know you aren’t similar in looks or jobs, but it’s her personality that says to me ‘ _ It’s Anne _ ’. I think that woman is one of the most beautiful living creatures on earth and I think that woman would look at her mirror somedays and cry  _ ‘I don’t feel beautiful today’ _ ; and look at her! Being powerful, a person who is not afraid of expressing her own voice, a reference to people all around the world, doing what she loves the most and being a non-normative body. And it’s ok; it makes her real and human. And, for me, she is a goddess and a person out of reach” Gilbert paused and, influenced by the bravery of the woman he had in front of her, confessed himself; “but just after you.”

“Me?” Anne muttered, thunderstruck and feeling again that tension she felt before, as Gilbert was once again giving her that same dark look as earlier.  _ He’s looking at me like he looks at his favourite dessert; so unimaginative the way I described it, but now, with him like this, my scope is insufficient. _

“Anne… I’d- I- Fuck it.” And Gilbert closed the distance between their mouths. It was a timid kiss; Gilbert withdrew quickly after brushing their lips, just in case Anne didn’t like it or felt offended for it. But Anne had other plans: before Gilbert had time to apologise, Anne took him by the back of the neck and pulled him closer to her, kissing him as she had long wanted to do.

They stood like that for a while, at the beginning with almost chaste kisses which escalated to passionate ones, their tongues explorating the other’s mouth, their hands touching as much as they could to explore the other’s body and feeling that, despite the fact it was their first kisses, it was something natural on them; as if they had a default extension of the other and knew perfectly how to do it.

Anne pulled back first, leaving soft kisses on his lips and the rest of his face, and whispered caressing his face and hair “Is this real?”

“It is, Anne-girl; and I cannot believe it myself either” Gilbert replied in a similar tone and similar gestures, as if speaking louder would break the spell they were in. “ _ Ouch! _ ” Suddenly complained, as Anne humorously pinched him in on the side. “Oh, you’ll now notice this is real soon too”.

So, he leapt on her so that he was above her on the sofa and began to tackle her, making her laugh till tears appeared on her eyes and she had to beg him to stop. Once he stopped, Anne grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him. Soon, the atmosphere changed and both of them felt they needed more, something which involved them, basically, naked. But Anne wanted to be sure; she didn’t want to be played with, and although she blindly trusted Gilbert, she just wanted to have that affirmation.

“Gil”, she called out while Gilbert kissed her neck. “Gilbert”, she called once again and made him look at her concerned.

“Are you ok? Did something go wrong?”

“No, everything is fine; really, more than fine” Anne smiled and caressed his eyebrows to erase concern from them. “But I want to talk about this before doing anything else. Is that right to you?”

“It is for me if that’s what you want, Anne”, Gilbert sat on the sofa and helped Anne do the same.

“Thanks. Well… I- I-” Anne avoided look at Gilbert in the eye, but took his hand on hers and with the other, she began to play with his fingers; how was she going to tell him she didn’t want to have sex with him even though she wanted it so badly? "I just don't wanna do anything further, involving other… activities, till I'm absolutely sure that…" 

"That…?" Gilbert echoed trying to encourage her to express herself freely together with a light squeeze on her hand, but still worried about what Anne could say.

"I mean, I don't want to scare you or anything; but I want to know if we are on the same page in this story. In other words, if you want to try to start something serious with me. I know nowadays friends just bang and after that just remain friends or even end their friendship there forever… but I want none of that to happen to us". Anne looked at Gilbert, whose concerned brows relaxed and now looked calmer, with eyes full of love and understanding. "I just want to be sure that we're pursuing something more; that is not going to be random sex or anything of the sort. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but I want to make myself clear and be certain that, whether we do it sooner or later, we are going to be pursuing something more."

"Anne, now I'm the one who doesn't want to scare you. Don’t you think we are already almost behaving like a couple? We go out alone together whenever we can, we consider the other in the 99% of our plans, we meet with your work friends or mine on weekends and we're comfortable with them; we even do each other's laundry!" Gilbert said that trying to make it lighter, but he became serious again: "We have been like this since we went to Charlottetown, we were alone and our friendship became stronger. I used to say I saw you like a sister, but I was just denying the fact that I was falling hard for you and I couldn’t help it. And I think that has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want you to be you around me; to not be scared to express yourself because I’ll never judge you or make you insecure about the way you feel and whichever your dreams and wishes are.” Gilbert took both her hands and kissed her knuckles. “Anne; my Anne with an E: you have been the only object of my affection and desire for so long I cannot even tell when it all started. So, yes Anne, be calm and prepare yourself because I’ll stick with you for a very long time; and one day if all goes well and you consent, forever.”

Anne again kissed him, pleased, full of love and over the moon. If she had known, she would have confessed herself almost three years ago. Suddenly, she stopped kissing him again and asked:

"It's weird what I'm about to ask you, but are you sure you like me? I mean, how I look…" Anne lowered her eyes, avoiding any facial expressions that would hurt her.

"Of course I like it. I  _ cherish _ it. I know you're different to Winnie or Christine, but that's what I love more about this: you're unique, and you want to share your uniqueness with me. You don't repel me; never think otherwise or let your imagination lead to what it's not. I like every single part of you: from your eyes, your belly and those hips that drive me crazy. I have already told you what I think about you; but what makes you even more attractive is what you hold on inside here" Gilbert paused to kiss her on her forehead. "Looks can change, but you being you will never do". And then, he gave her a quick peck.

“How long have you been liking me?” asked Anne again, completely flattered.

“Well, it’s been a while.” Gilbert replied, caressing her back and enjoying the way her body was leant on him; “I’m not sure when it started to be this strong, but I'd put the finger in our uni graduation… I remember myself thinking that night, while walking barefoot around campus and intoxicated with joy that you are the most special person I have ever met and I would do nothing but love you for the rest of my days. You’ll get to know cheesy Gilbert a bit better for now on, I’m telling you”. Anne laughed and her breath caressed Gilbert’s cheek, making him get Anne a bit closer. “But I was a bit confused then, and I didn’t know if that was romantic love or friend’s love. Now I can say it was surely romantic love.”

“That means… months before you were a resident in Charlottetown’s hospital, I began my Master in Cultural and New Trends Journalism and -”

“Yes,” Gilbert sighed, “you dated David for almost two years and I dated Christine for a couple of months.” Anne looked at him, annoyed at the fact that Gilbert dated someone he was not in love with. “Don’t look at me like that, Anne. I can read your eyes by now. I liked her; I cannot say otherwise because that wouldn’t be fair to her and our story. But I tried to know her better and I didn’t feel like I connected with her at all. I could be his friend, but not his lover. Just after that I did discover it was you and only you. I wanna prove my point. When did you discover you were in love with me?”

“Just when you told me you were leaving Avonlea and moving here.” said Anne a bit irked, but kept confessing herself: “Just the idea of losing you made me realise how important you are in my life; that losing you could be compared to a part of my soul being sent to the depths of the Hades and, after having lost many people in my life, you wouldn’t join them; you would be the exception. And it’s similar to what you’ve said: It seemed it was sleeping somewhere inside me that it just woke up and made me realise I felt that way for you for so long I can’t say where it just started” Just with that, Anne expressed what she had kept at the bottom of her heart for three years.

“Oh, Anne; I would never have let that happen; I just wouldn’t.” Gilbert added. “But, coming to what I want to prove: that is just three months after your split with David. You knew you felt something for me, but you thought it was only that bound that joined us together as just best friends; isn’t that right?” Gilbert looked again worried that Anne could misinterpret what he was trying to say and was sure it was the same for Anne. Luckily, Anne saw it and looked at him with eyes full of love and understanding.  _ God _ , Gilbert thought,  _ I love this woman. _

“Can we promise something?”

“Anything.”

“We’ll tell everything, even if it makes one cross with the other. Whatever it is. And that this is just another stage of our friendship, one of the most important ones; and we shall never break it. Does that sound good to you?”

“It does. What is more: Pinky promise, as you used to swear in school” Gilbert held his pinky up for her. 

She linked hers to it without disappointment and added before kissing him: “Pinky promise.”

They picked their waste up together, and after that they sat at the sofa again. They talked a bit further, confessing that the only ones knowing about their infatuation were Diana and Bash (this last one learning about it during a brothers' night out before Gilbert left the island; Bash since then nicknaming him " _ The Moke _ " for chickening out and not telling Anne his feelings), that they hadn't had sex since their last partners and that they didn't make a problem about it (sure they missed it sometimes and biological needs urged it, but they once tried it -Anne with a lad from Jane's work and Gilbert with a nurse who was transferred to some Ottawa's hospital- and didn't worked, promising themselves then they would just aliviate themselves if nature called for it and confess themselves as soon as possible… which took two years later than they expected) among other things. After that, they relaxed on the sofa, with some crappy film they found on Netflix and decided they would just sit there and enjoy their new status on their own, in their little universe which was only theirs and that people outside of it could never let in.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> The main aim of this fic is to promote self love and self acceptance. This story might seem the opposite to it and even a bit sexist, but it's absolutely not what I tried to achieve. Sometimes, being told by someone you care of they like the way you look and they cherish who you are just from pure love and affection can make someone change the way they treat themselves and stop being that unfair with themselves. My message is that no one but you will love yourself better than anyone, but external reminders from people you completely trust and deep down you know they love you are always helpful.
> 
> Besides, I want to apologise if someone offended with this bit of dark humour. I myself lost someone due to cancer and we used to joke (sometimes, darkly) about the illness as mechanism to cope with it and demonstrate we weren't scared of it. It's a small memorial I wanted to do here.
> 
> Anyway, just sorry, lots of love and stay safe; Coronavirus hasn't unfortunately left yet!


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